1. Telephone my baby get a date for Saturday night 

Got some money in my wallet, hair slicked up just right 

Hang on a minute, these here pants is too tight! 


I used to be a 34 now I's a 38

Walk up to my baby's door, skinny Jim, lookin great

Hang on a minute this here cat's put on weight! 


c) This cat's too fat

Hey diddle diddle

This cat's too fat

Put on weight round the middle

This cat's too fat

Look at the state l'm in! 

This cat's too fat

I got a double chin! 

I better find myself a double mat

This cat's too fat! 


2. Now l like my wine and whisky, like my coffee laced

l-Talian cookin' is the stuff l love to taste

All this fine livin's done gone right to my waist! 


I guess it's true, a few pounds I could lose, 

Cut out the whiskey, cut down on the booze

Pretty soon th'only thing left I goin't fit's my shoes! 

3. My baby says she likes it, truth be told 

Says them skinny boys just leave her cold 

She loves them andles l got there to hold! 


c) This cat's too fat

Hey diddle diddle

This cat's too fat

Put on weight round the middle

This cat's too fat

Look at the state I'm in! 

This cat's too fat

I got a double chin! 

l better find my self a double mat

This cat too fat!