Well I was always kind of a stoner
And she was always kind of mad
The day she put all my shit on the porch was the best day I ever had
Always subtle were her ways
I don't think of her these days
But when people ask here's what I say

There ain't one damn thing I miss about her
Not her perfume not her kinky two toned hair
She's as mean as a cottonmouth on the ground
And she don't weigh 90 pounds if you wet her down
I don't call on her, and she don't bother me
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey-yeah.

She was a barefoot hippie
Fighting with her old man
I fell for her and she for me put a ring upon her hand
That's when daddy reeled her in
I hope I never see her again
When people ask here's what I say

There ain't one damn thing I miss about her
Not her perfume not her kinky two tone hair
She's as mean as a cottonmouth on the ground
And she don't weigh 90 pounds if you wet her down
I don't call on her, and she don't bother me
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey?hey

Her daddy called me everything except my name
He was driving me insane
I got out with no kids and some shame

There ain't one damn thing I miss about her
Not her perfume not her kinky two tone hair
She's as mean as a cottonmouth on the ground
And she don't weigh 90 pounds if you wet her down
I don't call on her, and she don't bother me hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Hey, hey
Yeah, yeah