It says here that the Unions will never learn

It says here that the economy is on the upturn

And it says here we should be proud that we are free

And our free press reflects our democracy


Those braying voices on the right of the House

Are echoed down the Street of Shame

Whrer politics mix bingo and tits

In a money and nombers game


Where they offer you a feature on stockings and suspenders

Next to a call for stiffer penalties for sex offenders


It says here that this year's prince is born

It says here do you ever wish that you were better-informed

And it says here that we can only stop the rot

With a large dose of Law and Order

And a touch of the short sharp shock


If this does not reflect your view you should understands

That those who own the papers also own this land

And they'd rather you believed in Coronation Street capers

In the war for circulation, it sells newspapers

Could it be an infringement of the freedom of the press

To print pictures of women in states of undress


When you wake up the fact that your paper is Tory

Just remember, there are two sides to every story