Some say that kissing's a sin 
But tell me how can that be true 
For kissing has been in this world 
Since the very first day there was two 

No if it wasn't legal then the lawyers they would sue 
And the prison would be full of folks who had a (....) or two 
And if they didn't like it then away the girls would run 
And if it wasn't plenty the poor folk would get none 

(chorus (....) first time kiss, second time bet, 
third time curse, fourth time smoke, fifth time drink) 

Some say that gambling's a sin 
But I'll bet you 15 to 1 
That gambling has been in this world 
Since horses and greyhounds could run 

No if it wasn't legal then the lawyers they would sue 
And the prison would be full of folks who had a (....) or two 
And if they didn't like it then away the girls would run 
And if it wasn't plenty the poor folk would get none 

Some say that swearing's a sin 
But were is the man that can tell 
For swearing has been in this world 
Since the devil was told 'go to hell' 

No if it wasn't legal then the lawyers they would sue 
And the prison would be full of folks who had a (....) or two 
And if they didn't like it then away the girls would run 
And if it wasn't plenty the poor folk would get none 

And some say that smoking's a sin 
But a pipe now and then is enough 
But smoking has been in this world 
Since Adam taught Eve how to puff 

No if it wasn't legal then the lawyers they would sue 
And the prison would be full of folks who had a (....) or two 
And if they didn't like it then away the girls would run 
And if it wasn't plenty the poor folk would get none 

Some say that drinking's a sin 
But a gargle is fine now and then 
For drinking has been in this world 
For ever and ever amen 

No if it wasn't legal then the lawyers they would sue 
And the prison would be full of folks who had a (....) or two 
And if they didn't like it then away the girls would run 
And if it wasn't plenty the poor folk would get none