He's been trying with limited success

To get this girl to let him get into her pants

But every time he thinks he's getting close

She threatens death before he gets a chance



And that's the way it is in minnesota

And that's the way it is in oklahoma

That's the way it's been since protozoa

First climbed onto the shores of california



And she's been trying with limited success

To get him to turn out the lights and dance

Cause like any girl all she really wants

That fickle little bitch romance

That fickle little bitch romance



And that is why a girl is called a tease

And that is why a guy is called a sleaze

And that's why god made escort agencies

One life to live and mace and GHB



And that's the way it is in minnesota

And that's the way it is in oklahoma

That's the way since the animals and noah

First climbed onto the shores of california



Must not be too kind

Stop thinking love is blind

Clench your fists yeah write

"she's just not my type..."



Why all these conflicting specifications

Maybe to prevent overpopulation

All I know is that all around the nation

The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating



And that's the way it is in minnesota

And that's the way it is in oklahoma

That's the way Aristophanes and homer

Wrote the iliad and lysistrata (not in that order...)



And that's the way it is in minnesota

And that's the way it is in oklahoma

That's the way it's been since protozoa

First climbed onto the shores of california