All my favorite shows are on TV
All the restaurants serve my favorite food
'Cause now everybody's me

Now my apartment's really crowded
'Cause I live there and I'm everybody
Everybody's sleeping with my girl
But, hey, everybody's me

CHORUS
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me
Now everybody's me

Everybody's watching "Married with Children"
Everybody's into beastiality
The stores stopped selling Amstel Light
'Cause now everybody's me

Everybody loves Charles Manson
Everybody wants to set him free
Everybody's on the parole board
'Cause now everybody's me

CHORUS

I had to put an end to war
It didn't make a lot of sense to shoot at myself
No moe Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway
Salesmen
Just a whole planet of TV addicts
They had to lower all  the basketball nets
'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3
And everybody likes to dress like a monkey
'Cause now everybody's me
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