They are proud, however, and they explain to their human visitors 

who they are and reveal that cats have three different names: 

the one the family uses daily, the more dignified name and a secret 

name. It is the cat's contemplation of the latter that keeps felines 

in deep thought. 



ALL (Whispering): 

The naming of cats is a difficult matter 

It isn't just one of your holiday games 

You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter 

When I tell you a cat must have three different names 



First of all, there's the name that the family use daily 

Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James 

Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey 

All of them are sensible, everyday names 



But I tell you a cat needs a name that's particular 

A name that's peculiar and more dignified 

Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular? 

Or spread out his whiskers or cherish his pride? 



Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum 

Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat 

Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum 

Names that never belong to more than one cat 



But above and beyond there's still one name left over 

And that is the name that you will never guess 

The name that no human research can discover 

But the cat himself knows and will never confess 



When you notice a cat in profound meditation 

The reason, I tell you, is always the same 

His mind is engaged in rapt contemplation 

Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name 



His ineffable, effable, effanineffable 

Deep and inscrutable singular name 

Name, name, name, name, name, name