Fat ugly fat man swam in a red tire made of stone
A painted lady paddled next to him with two poodles on her lap
Garbo quietly picked a flower
While the chauffeur won his check again
And Barrymore took an noname out and diamonds fell like rain

Cisco Kid and a bald headed waitress trapped underneath a bed of brass
The french cook served them chocolates and some cold cuts on the grass
Louilla ripped her zebra pants in the polo lounge
And Errol Flynn was not let in 'cause he was coming down

Up in Zanadu diamonds fell like rain
Citizen Kane was king, poor Citizen Kane

Valentino suddenly appeared in his midnight blue tuxedo
Had a falcon on his shoulder eating chicken from his hands
And Fatty Arbuckel waddled by on way to the bath house green
Frankenstein ate the leading lady and licked the carglass clean

Up in Zanadu diamonds fell like rain
Citizen Kane was king, poor Citizen Kane
Up in Zanadu diamonds fell like rain
Citizen Kane was king, poor Citizen Kane