(When I'm at home I want to feel like royalty)
But I don't want to be the queen of this mess
   (Never before have I seen such misery)
Living with my baby is a hassle
   (When he's at home he doesn't care
   Never combs his hair)
I'm puttin' him out on the curb unless he cleans this
Garbage up

My baby loves
   Trash
   My baby leaves his trash all over the house
   I've got to dig & dig & dig
   Just to find the bathroom in the morning
   My baby loves
   Trash
   My baby leaves his trash all over the house
   I think it's time to trash my baby

Well home is where the heart is
   (God what a mess it gives me cardiac arrest)
But my heart isn't willing to stay there
   (Crumbs in the bed I can't get no rest)
My man never learned to pick up his
   (Pardon the small you know he never does the laundry)
Dirty shirts and socks and underwear
He doesn't even care

Talkin' bout
   Trash
   My baby leaves his trash all over the house
   I've got to dig & dig & dig
   Just to find the bathroom in the morning
   My baby loves
   Trash
   My baby leaves his trash all over the house
   I think it's time to trash my baby

If cleanliness is next to godliness
   (One year of Sunday papers blocking the door)
Then my baby is a heathen and a heretic
   (Ants so thick your feet never touch the floor)
He worships at the altar of sloppiness
   (And fills the collection plate with cigarette butts)
I'm gonna lace his food with arsenic
And have him hauled away

I'm picking up
   Trash
   My baby leaves his trash all over the house
   I've got to dig & dig & dig
   Just to find the bathroom in the morning
   My baby loves
   Trash
   My baby leaves his trash all over the house
   I think it's time to trash my baby
   I'm gonna call my garbageman
   Haul my baby and all of his trash away
   I'm gonna call my garbageman
   Haul my baby and all of his trash away
   I'm gonna call my garbageman
   Haul my baby and all of his trash away
   I'm gonna call my garbageman
   Haul my baby and all of his trash away