No one's making joyful sounds
Cranberry sauce ain't staying down
The lineups at the bathroom are longer than at the mall
Everybody's meeting Vincent
the Christmas Virus

Vincent the Christmas Virus
He's the one that'll keep you up all night
He's the festive parasite
Vincent the Christmas Virus

Vincent the Christmas Virus is resistant to penicillin
Doesn't notice Aspirin
Don't matter if you're fit and trim
But Vincent's not immune to the effects of alcohol
So get real drunk on Christmas Day
Let's all toast to Vincent (Hooray