You probably assume i'm big and tough (big and tough)
But the trail's worn me down, i don't want to hang around
I've just about had enough (had enough)
you see i like a nice cup of expresso,
and i like to read my  people magazine
I co-ordinate my chaps, but everybody laughs
and say they don't like that shade of green

Chorus:
Oh no, it's true, i'm a sensitive cowboy and i don't know what to do
oh no, it's kinda strange, i'm the last sensitive cowboy on the range

well i try to eat a healthy, balanced diet
but they all eat their brown beans from the can
They all have to smoke about six packs a day
you'd think they was the marlboro man (*cough* smooth!)
and they don't like to go to see the opera
on friday nights when they get paid
and they don't help me bring in the hanging plants
every time there's a native american raid

Chorus

(Spoken)
Cowboy life sure is different these days
why brand your cattle when you can just use bovine psychology?
why have a gun fight when there are so many good para-legals out there?
Nobody drinks and bush-whacks anymore
And besides, we're all switching over to eating salt-reduced tofu jerky
And if you're gonna ride off into the sunset,
make sure you're using an effective sun-block

Chorus (x2