Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) - [speaking]

Beadle Bamford (Timothy Spall)







Judge Turpin:	“I have news for you, my friend.  In order to shield 

		her from the evils of this world, I have decided to 

		marry my dear Johanna.”



Beadle Bamford:	“Oh, sir, happy news indeed!”



Judge Turpin:	“Strange, though.  When I offered myself to her, she 

		showed a certain... reluctance.”



Beadle Bamford:	Excuse me, my lord 

		May I request, my lord 

		Permission, my lord, to speak

		Forgive me if I suggest, my lord

		You're looking less than your best, my lord

		There's powder upon your vest, my lord 

		And stubble upon your cheek

		And ladies, my lord, are weak



Judge Turpin:	“Stubble, you say?  

		…Perhaps I am a little over-hasty in the mornings.”



Beadle Bamford:	Fret not though, my lord 

		I know a place, my lord 

		A barber, my lord, of skill 

		Thus art with a shaven face, my lord

		Some eau de cologne to place, my lord

		And to enhance the chase, my lord

		You'll dazzle the girl until…



Judge Turpin:	“Until?”



Beadle Bamford:	She bows to your every will



Judge Turpin:	“A barber? Take me to him.”