Well we artistic types are so misunderstood
everyone's a critic, they don't know when something's good
Just let us have our space and freedom to create
and when the work is finished, we'll tell you if it's great
My painter friend is Stephen, I'm screwing his wife Mia
No, it doesn't bother him, in fact it's his idea
You common people try to pass it off as sick behavior
but it's how he gets inspired, I'm doing him a favor
Artists want to share their gift, but it's often that they can't
thank God that Stephen finally got that NEA grant

Chorus:
Cause Stephen's exhibition is a masterpiece to see
it's a series done in oil of his wife in bed with me
In really wild positions, all throughout his home
we cluttered every room with empty tubes of paint and foam
He's done good work before, but this is closer to his heart
I'm glad that I could help out my friend Stephen with his art

Now Stephen was a prodigy, so growing up was odd
like Maplethorpe multiplied by Marquis De Sade
When he discovered porno he was instantly consumed
Then he fell in love with Mia and his art began to bloom
Congress tried to pull his funding cause his approach is raw
Well, technically in many states it is against the law
You know the one of Mia with a gerbil in her hand?
It's called "The Veterinarian", it goes for thirty grand
You may find that insulting, but the cultural elite
line up to throw their platitudes and money at his feet

Chorus

And all the sex and violence is a brilliant metaphor
I'm not really raping Mia on the living room floor

Chorus