Fuck yourself with a rubber hose
Stick it in your mouth and down your throat
Up your nose and in your heinie hole
I don't care where it goes
And it don't matter if you're straight or gay
You should fuck yourself anyway

Now, you don't have to listen to a word I say
But I know you, you'll be humpin' away
Fuck yourself with your neighbor's nose
If you can't use that, use a 10-foot pole
Stick it up your ass and go for a stroll
Everyone will know you've been to this show

If you can't take, eat my stool
Masturbate with some crazy glue
I don't care what you do
Fock yourself with a garden tool

Fuck yourself with politics
Ahh they're full of fuckin' fuckin' shit
I mean you know we've been lied to ever since we were 
born
It's amazing that we've been getting fucked that long

Fuck yourself with the world wide web
Man you could ride that sucker right from your bed
You may even meet a Tom, Dick, Jane or Billy
Then grab onto your modem and fuck yourself silly

Fuck yourself with your heart and soul
Give it everything you got, hey I'm talkin' to you
If you can't even fuck yourself,
How ya gonna fuck somebody else?

Fuck yourself with my microphone
I'll give it to you later when we're all alone
We can turn it up loud
And see if you come, but
Don't get your jizz on my microphone

Fuck yourself with organized religion
Now that is some seriously sinnin' business
If the Lord sees their pathetic crimes
He'll be fuckin' them 'til the end of time

And can someone explain to me this racism crap
I know it isn't white, but it isn't black
And to all you people who only see things your way
Well, you can suck my dick and take all day

Fuck your nose with a pound of blow
Watch your money get up and go
but when you burnt your brain and you say
I don't know!
I hate to tell you but I told you so

Fuck yourself with this grunge rock noise
I mean, stuff those albums in your groin
They come down on me because I know how to play -
Hey... fuck you!

Fuck yourself with a copy of Rolling Stone
Or are they too holy for your holiest of holes
Now those people think they're holier than Moses
But aren't they just a bunch of fuckin' posers

Fuck yourself with your mother's jewelry
I won't tell, I ain't a stooly
If you pounce hard enough you'll cough up a ruby
Your blood will be rich and so will your doodie

Fuck yourself with the latest fashion
With your spikes and your hair and those cute little 
buttons
And if you happen to have some leather and lace
Fuck yourself 'til you're blue in the face

Fuck yourself with your income tax
They're fucking you and that's a fact
Before you know it your money's all spent
And you've just been fucked by the government

Fuck yourself with your lawyer friend
You're the only one that's getting fucked in the end
I have been so fucked by legal bills
that my asshole is the size of Beverly Hills

Fuck yourself with your full-length sweater
With your minks and your diamonds and your Irish Setter
With your cash and your trash and your sinks and your 
drinks
Just fuck yourself 'til you can't even think

Those of you who enjoy this song
thank you thank you, I love you
Let's get it on
But for those of you who are totally outraged
Fuck yourself with your face