It feels like it was yesterdayWhen I explained to you
from my tender teenage point of view
Ain't noone ever gonna notice you
till you change your mousy ways
Just take a day or two
to rethink your girlish attitudes
I know someone who's been watching you
I'll be sending him your way
Hope you like my Uncle Runkle
He's the only kraut in the neighborhood
Hope you like my Uncle Runkle
He'd never ever have it any other way
And when he comes for you
wear the lipstick like I showed you to
With some nylon stockings and a new hairdo
you could be your mother's age
Just don't unbolt the door
till he tells you what he's asking for
You know everyone will say you're a whore
if you let him have his way
Hope you like my Uncle Runkle
He's the only kraut in the neighborhood
Hope you like my Uncle Runkle
He'd never ever have it any other way
...and when he loves you the night sky goes twinkle 
starry blue
and when he kissed you your whole life was all over...
Why'd you unbolt the door
then pretend you didn't ask for more
There's a whole society behind your door
don't you have something to say
(you shouldn't say it anyway)
Don't you tell on Uncle Runkle
He's the oldest grouch in the neighborhood
Don't you tell on Uncle Runkle
He'd never ever have it any other way