(Difford/Tilbrook) 

  

She was frigid like a Bible 

When she met her boyfriend Michael 

He took her in his Zephyr 

They sat like salt and pepper 

Looking out across the city 

From Lover's Leap is pretty 

The lights they flick and flutter 

He told her how he loved her 

Next night he called for her 

But Dad protected daughter 

And told him she was poorly 

A lie was told there surely 

So Michael felt rejected 

This wasn't quite expected 

He drove off to his local 

Where he felt anti-social 

  

She cried all night at missing 

The boy she could be kissing 

While he was falling over 

He drunk himself back sober 

And went home in a taxi 

And crashed out in the back seat 

He slept just like a baby 

Which he hadn't done just lately 

He saw her in the morning 

Out with his sister Pauline 

She felt all shy and soppy 

He acted cool and cocky 

He said tonight at Charlie's 

There's going to be a party 

I'll meet you at half seven 

She visualised the heaven 

  

If you ever change your mind 

Which you do from time to time 

Never chew a pickle 

With a little slap and tickle 

You have to throw the stone 

To get the pool to ripple 

  

That night they danced together 

It looked like love forever 

He put his hand on her leg 

You should have heard what she said 

He tried again much later 

It seemed to aggravate her 

He drove home in silence 

Avoiding all violence 

She said let's watch the city 

From Lover's Leap is pretty 

I think I need the fresh air 

She put a comb through her hair 

Then while she turned to kiss him 

And very nearly missed him 

She put her hand on his leg 

He felt her tongue in his head 

 

If you ever change your mind 

Which you do from time to time 

Never chew a pickle 

With a little slap and tickle 

You have to throw the stone 

To get the pool to ripple