Wanna tell a story 'bout a girl named Sheila

Lovely li'l thing but a bit of a dreamer

She's been married for three long years

Got three children and they're all little dears, but

Now she's bored with her married bliss, so

She goes out on the town, has a bit of this and that

The guy meant nothing, one night stand

Test turned blue, got much more on her hands



Uh-oh, it's all gone wrong, and

Uh-oh, it's all gone wrong, and

Uh-oh, it's all gone wrong

It's all gone wrong



Derrick knew she worked at the supermarket

So while out on a drive decided to go and park it

Down by the river, walk to the store

Never got the courage up to talk to her before, but

He'd been up practising all last night

Planning what he's gonna say, making sure it sounded right

As he turned the corner by the milk and orange juice

She's playing tonsil hockey with the spotty guy from fresh produce



Jon was a guy that fully understood, that

The car that you drive is an extension of your manhood

As you can imagine, never left no doubt

Enter the equation when he drove his Cadillac about

Pretty damn long, pretty damn wide

Two silver lightning bolts painted down the sides

Imagine his grief, pity his pain, when

Both broke down one morning and never started up again



Fred played guitar in his best mate's band

They knew that they'd go far, all they needed was a helping hand

While practising one evening, there's a knock at the door

Opened up to see a guy, no one there had seen before

Introduced himself as 'Bob the talent-scout'

Handed them a form, told them they should fill it out

Now they're still practising in Fred's back room

Owe ten thousand quid, Bailiffs will be calling soon