Bring joy to the world; it's the thing to do
But the world does not revolve around you
Don't be a jerk
It's Christmas
There's a sign above the line that says "Express"
That means ten items or less
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Be nice to babies and animals, old folks too
Cuz that's how you'd like them to treat you
Use turn signals, don't screen my calls
Don't you wreck my house when you deck the halls
Spit your gum where it won't wind up on my shoe
Squeeze toothpaste from the bottom of the tube.
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
It's Christmas!

When others are talking never interrupt
Don't put people down or leave the toilet seat up
It's the time for family and holly and turkey
'Tis the season to be jolly not jerky (jolly not jerky)
Don't dig in the cereal box for goodness sakes
Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Santa brought nearly every gift on your list
Why whine about the one that he missed?
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
It's Christmas!
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas
Don't be a jerk (don't be a jerk)
It's Christmas