I've got a snapshot of your aunt Maureen
She's 90 and you're a teen
I'm trying to cheer you up
Don't be so mean, don't be so mean

Crach, bam, now you're looking good
Tip top, now you're feeling good
Once more, here's your aunt Maureen
Don't you feel good? Don't you feel good?

Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on T.V. screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens

Wake up to music
And say you're too sick to go to work

Soon, you will lose all your zits
Tight sweaters no longer fit
Jet-setters will make their pitch
I told you so, I told you so

Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on T.V. screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens

Don't eat that ice cream
It is vanilla? Give it to me
Don't eat that pastry
What's in the middle? Give it to me

Don't eat that burger
Has it got mayonnaise? Give it to me

Keep that mystique up
And wear a 'D' cup, no matter what
Don't eat no curry
Before a very important date

Do I look so knowing and old and wise
Maybe it's those Dacron ties
How come you keep asking me?
For tips for teens, for tips for teens

Crach, bam, now you're looking good
Tip top, now you're feeling good
Once more, here's your aunt Maureen
Don't you feel good? Don't you feel good?

Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on T.V. screens
Tips for teens, tips for teens

Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on T.V. screens

Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see on T.V. screens

Tips for teens, tips for teens
The kind you don't see in magazines
Tips for teens, tips for teens