I wanna be a B-Grade actorStar alongside Terri Hatcher
With expertise in over-acting
I'm just a copy of the real thing!
Start my career on a daytime soapie
Got nominated for a golden loogie
Still no-one can remember my name
I'm just destined for B-Grade fame!
I wanna be on A Current Affair
Dodgy builders had better beware
Chat with the mother of an ADD brat
Or investigate why Derryn Hinch's so fat
Get my TV week signed by Ray
What will the ladies at the bowling club say?
Same old stories every night
He is a legend in his own sight!