if, when all i have left to do, is to force myself to 
hate you to get over you... if, when all i have left, is 
to become callous to every feeling i have about you to 
get over you... then i don't want to live, because i can 
never hate you. no matter how bad you hurt me, i will 
never hate you. but, if i live, then so does my love for 
you. and that creates a sadness that makes my heart and 
just so i can get over you. i did that before and i 
nearly lost myself. i nearly lost myself. if, when 
everything falls away and all i have left is to force 
myself to hate you to get over you, even then i still 
won't, though living like this is unbearable. then i 
guess i can't live anymore, because i could never hate 
you. i will never hate you. i'll always love you.