Just when I started to believe that everything was going my way
 Out came the cloud from under my feet
 Crashing back down to reality
 You used to call me pumpkin now I'm Halloween
 Remember when I used to be your jelly bean
 You used to call me schnookums and shit like that
 Now you're after me with a baseball bat

 I remember when I used to be the king
 Your honey sweety darling baby everything
 I used to be your tall dark mystery man
 Now I'm just straight up history man

 Just when I thought everything would be alright
 Just when I started to believe that everything was out of sight
 You left me with nothing but a scribbled note
 That said I would no longer be your love boat
 From here on out my pet name would be X
 Your X your X your X

 It used to be sugar then it turned into salt
 I used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line
 Lying naked in a hail storm in the dark
 You're my little tornado and I am your trailer park
 You used to call me names too cute to repeat
 Like honey bunch hairy bear and piccolo peet
 Goochy goochy goo gaga shit like that
 Now you're after me screaming you dirty rat

 I don't remember applying for a name change
 So why is it you're calling me Mister Deranged
 Psycopathic pornographic stinking drunk
 Failing fast lying ass worthless punk

 You used to call me sweety pie and baby doll
 I guess another stud's kicking in my stall
 You'll probably call him superman or loverboy
 You'll probably disregard him like a broken toy

 Just when he thought everything was going his way
 Just when he started to believe that everything was hunky dory
 He'll look at that cloud that he's standing on
 And with an itsy bitsy teeny little almost inaudible squeak
 He'll notice
 It's gone

 From here on out his pet name would be X
 Your X your X your X

 Sweety pie?
 No X
 Honey bunch?
 No X
 Bubble butt?
 No X
 Pumpkin face