Well, I wish I was a cat, sitting on a rug

Pretty girls would pick me up, they give me a hug

They stroke me and pet me on my head

And all those wonderful things I see sleeping on a bed

Ref.

Well, I wish I was, well, I wish I could be

Well, I wish I was someone, someone else, not me

Well, I wish I was, well, I wish I could be

Well, I wish I was someone, someone else, not me

Well, I wish I was a mirror on a girl's bedroom wall

All those mucky things, I would see them all

She walks around in a flimsy little nighty

And when she takes that nighty off, oh gosh, oh lord how mighty

Ref.

Well, I wish I was a brassier and spend my life in lust

Ride on the girls jumper and round the girls bust

I would be a hold-up man, like Butch Cassidy

And over the shoulder hold a brassier life for me

Ref.