Now I've been drinkin' since I was four 
Ain't had enough and I still want more
Fill ‘em up again place the glasses in a row
I've been in the horrors and started to shake
But good hard liquor is what I take
And my pal alcohol I love you so

When I'm far away from home
And there's no pub I brew my own
Out of vegetables or anything that grows
I drink it till my eyes bulge out 
Then I scream and rave and shout
'Cause my pal alcohol I love you so

[Instrumental]

I've a lot of good reasons for drinkin'
And one has just entered my head
If you don't have a charge while you're livin'
You've got no flamin' chance when you're dead
Oh I don't care what people think
It's a well known fact I'll die from drink
'Cause my pal alcohol I love you so

I've very fine physicians
They've guarded me since my youth
One doctors name is Toohey
The other ones name is Tooth 
I've seen my whiskers curl and singe 
When I get through from a weekend binge
'Cause my pal alcohol I love you so

[Instrumental]

When I'm far away from home
And there's no pub I brew my own
Out of vegetables or anything that grows
I drink it till my eyes bulge out 
Then I scream and rave and shout
'Cause my pal alcohol I love you so

Oh I hear there's a drink called water
It may appeal to some blokes
But to me I think it's unhealthy
See what it does to the bottoms of boats
This song's about to end I think
So I must go for another drink
'Cause my pal alcohol I love you so.