Keep your head above the water, your feet right on the floor
Keep your eyes wide open and your back against the wall
Keep your hands on your wallet, your hat right down
Keep your mouth to yourself and your nose to the ground

I'm a private eye
I'm a rented spy
I'm an undercover agent
I'm a bodyguard with a callin' card
And I'm right here on the pavement

I'm a hired gun
A prodigal son
Open for your selection

A bargain muscler
Quality hustler
Waiting for your direction

Synchronized my wristwatch, I'm lookin' through the trash
Got my camera right and ready and flashlight good and charged
My radio's on standby and my salary's been enlarged

He's a private eye
He's a private eye
He's a private eye
He's a private eye
oh yeah

I can run a block
I can smash a lock
Outwit the Lone Ranger

Catch a wife
Or take a life
I'll get you outta danger

Snatch a kid
Or make a bid
I'm your suburban soldier

Bust a head
Or shoot you dead
I'm touch or ain't I told you