I sold your Rolex
To buy that gold Versace dress
I set free your whiny French poodle
So you can get your beauty rest

Chorus:
And I did it all for you
I did it all (I did it all) for you
This Christmas (This Christmas)
All your dreams (all your dreams)
Will come true

I put your mother on a Greyhound (You did what?)
You’d always hoped she’d have the chance to see the world (leave our mom alone)- now she can
I torched your Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues (no, no, no, no)
So I could be your only girl - and now I am

Repeat Chorus

Bridge:
How can I forget
All you’ve done for me, I’ll get you yet
This is the season to give
But I can never forgive the damage that you’ve done
(Damage that you’ve done)
This must be love

I sank your bass boat (Not my bass boat, no, no, no)
So you’d have more time to spend with me
I hooked your grandma’s diamond earrings
For the down payment on my SUV
(Fully loaded, heated seats, in hunter green-is this for me?)

Repeat Chorus