Oh, the fire's burning slow
Now where's that mistletoe
Dear, it's getting kind of hot in here
I need a taste of Christmas cheer
I hope he gets here quick, I need a St. Nick fix
Oooo-eee, I just want him to be all wrapped up for me
Santa's never been this hard to resist
But Santa never used to look like this

He's traded in his reindeer for a limosine
He's wearing purple trousers instead of red and green
This Christmas I want something I never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new bag

Now, I got to got to find out how
To make him want to settle down
I've got a big fat kiss right at the top of my list
So we can build a little candy home
And have a few elves of our own
I want to sneak a peek at my surprise
And see tradition metamorphasize

He's given up the cookies and he's slimming down
He bought a little bungalow in Tinsel Town
This Christmas I want something I never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new bag

As he finds his Zen down on the kitchen floor
He lights a fat Cohiba from his humidor
This Christmas I want something I never had

Cause Santa's got a brand new bag

He's got a Richenbacher and he's bleached his hair
He's rockin to the rythm with a Latin flair
This Christmas I want something I've never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new bag

He's reading Socrates and cooking French cuisine
He's pictured on the front of money magazine
This Christmas I want something I've never had
Cause Santa's got a brand new
Santa's got, Santa's got a brand new bag