Well my brother was in the country, my sister was in a state
Rolling round under the plum tree crying "It’s late, oh God, it’s late!"
 
Well the government ran outta money and my daddy he ran outta luck
Running from a nasty nickname but it stuck, ooh yeah it stuck
 
Gotta keep it in the family
Like the presents at the bottom of the Christmas tree
Love your baby, love your neighbour, love your enemy
And if there’s any love left, give a little to me
 
Well my mama was in a convent, praying for her family’s souls
Heaping thanks ‘n praises upon them, now she’s growing old, ooh mama you’re growing old
 
My cousin was in the army, driving up and down in a tank
He took a little holiday detour and he robbed a bank, bang bang bang, you know he robbed a bank
 
Gotta keep it in the family, etc