Go to bed, go to sleep
I've had enough of your bullshit
Close your eyes you little monster
Or I'll blister your behind.
I'll explain, you're a pain
When you're tired and cranky
I get cranky sometimes too
Like when I'm sick and tired of you!

No you can't have a drink
No I won't read you one more story
I've had it up to here
I could use a drink myself.

Pampers and potties and runny red noses
Babies are seldom a bed full of roses
Whining and crying and carrying on
This is what sucks about being a mom

Babies are cute but it's just when they're sleeping
New moms don't realize that soon they'll be keeping
Hours that Dracula couldn't live on
This is what sucks about being a mom

When a toy breaks
When your back aches
When you're feeling down
Real moms aren't depressed when they see a big mess
They just know that a child's around

Let me go to the bathroom
All alone
Let me watch some tv
Or talk on the telephone

I hate Ernie and Bert
And Rainbow Bright
I'm sick to death of the Smurfs
So give me a break tonight

I know how much you love me
And you know how much I love you too
But please
Please my darling daughter won't you go and bug your father
I don't want you near me

Let me sit down to eat
Let me rest a while
I don't know if my feet can last through another child

Living with a kid like you
S'Like being keep of a zoo
You should be in a cage