(Bobby Miller) 



Well, if things could talk then I'm sure you'd hear 

A lot of things to make you cry my dear 

Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

Oh, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

Ain't you glad [Glad] 

Glad that things don't talk 



Now, if shoes could tell where they've been 

When you say you've been visiting a friend 

Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

He-he-hey, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

But ain't you glad [Glad] 

Glad that shoes don't talk 



Now, if doors could tell who's turned the knob 

When he's away out on his job 

If cars could tell who's been inside 

And who's been taking you out for a ride 

Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

Oh, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

But ain't you glad [Glad] 

Glad that cars don't talk 



In a world of trouble I'd be 

If things ever told on me 

My whole life would be through 

'Cause I'm guilty, how about you ? 

If things ever talk that way 

Ain't no telling what they might say 

Ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

Oh, ain't you glad [Ain't you glad] 

Ain't you glad [Glad] 

Glad that things don't talk