We are gathered here today to pour scorn on inhumanity's weaknesses and foibles A fear of cellars, crypts, and caves Underground hollow evacuated lecture theatre Shadow strewn interior Abandoned gas house Topomaniac genophobia dispophobia gymophobia philophobia Scholophobia phenophobia panophobia Our leader fears the dark - have a nasty night! Hirsute! Lazy long nosed decadent pink skinned gigantic Englishmen Jay ay pee know nose job