I'm a set designer, my Mum and Dad
thinking I'm gay
I'm a lazy bugger, but I like my sport
Like girls and music, I'm happy, happy sort
(of a guy)

But there's one thing I'm lacking
it's sexual experience
So I ask you, my sweetheart
save me from this wilderness

I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this

Where I come from, love is
just a hole in the wall
And the steel mills ring out and generations
heed the call
And the rain never stops and the skies are grey
And the chance of romance
slim as a bright sunny day

This is partly the reason
I'm so overwhelmed and shy
Because your beauty, by contrast
is gonna make a young man cry

I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this
I've schemed, honey, of a night like this
You don't know what it means to a boy from
a suburban home
To be left with a woman like you
completely alone

I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this

Nice place you've got here, babe
never seen a house like this
Pool like an ocean, bed like a football pitch
All the guys at the boozer, won't believe my luck
But it couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke
(than me)

So here we are, the record's
gotten stuck in the groove
My knees are trembling, c'mon baby, make a move

I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this
I've schemed, honey, of a night like this
I've dreamed, I've schemed, honey
of a night like this
I've dreamed, honey, of a night like this