I stand up, my pants fall down 
I get arrested and dragged downtown 
I'm waterboarded, and when it stops 
I've got this message for the cops:

While you waste your time with me 
An evil blonde is running free 
Underneath her headset and sequins 
Lurks a true juvenile deliquent!

Hannah, Hannah Montana 
Carjacked my van in Tarzana 
Hannah, Hannah Montana 
Bitch-slapped my Nana

She may look cute, she may look nice 
But she's invaded Belgium twice 
She runs on battery - and assault 

Hannah, Hannah Montana 
Imports her hash from Havana 
Hannah, Hannah Montana 
Burned down AtlantaShe started typhoid and M.S. 
And the global economic mess 
Don't tell my achy breaky heart 
That her music makes me shart

Hannah, Hannah Montana 
Hates all Arquettes but Rosanna 
Hannah, Hannah Montana 
Smoked my banana

Every time an earthquake hits 
Guess who is having giggle fits? 
Hey, tweens: Our lawyers require us 
To say Beware of the Miley Virus!