Is the Richard Gere Gerbil story true
Who came third in World War 2
did Sooty sleep with Sue,

These things I think about,
when i'm out with you...

What are the holes in biro's for
which one's which in the Corrs
did Geff Hurst really score,

Coz frankly your a bore,
and i'm not...

And if it's leavin' season your second on the bill
If you wont leave me baby i'll find someone who will,

I tried love, i'm sorry
I tried love...

Does God ever get it wrong
Where has Gary Barlow gone
Why is Christmas Day so long
It just goes on and on... and on,
Like you,

And if it's leavin' season your the second on the bill
If you wont leave me baby i'll find someone who will,

I tried love, i'm sorry
I tried love...

Do duh duh duh duh duh duh,
duh duh, duh duh...
Do duh duh duh duh duh duh,
duh duh, duh duh,

I tried love, i'm sorry
I tried love...

Why is there ketchup on my sleeve
Do you think Adam fancied Eve
What if Eve could not conceive
And he had to breed with Steve,
We'd all be gay....
(Laughs......)