Joanne: 

The samples won't delay but the cable- 



Mark: 

There's another way 

Say something...anything 



Joanne: 

Test one, two, three 



Mark: 

Anything but that 



J: 

This is weird 



M: 

It's weird 



J: 

Very weird 



M: 

Fucking weird 



J: 

I'm so mad that I don't know what to do 

Fighting with microphones 

Freezing down to my bones 

And to top it all off I'm with you 



M: 

Feel like going insane 

Got a fire in your brain 

And you're thinking of drinking gasoline 



J: 

As a matter of fact 



M: 

Honey, I know that act 

It's called the tango maureen 

The tango maureen 

It's a dark dizzy merry-go-round 

As she keeps you dangling (J: you're wrong) 

Your heart she is mangling (J: it's different with me) 

And you toss and you turn 

Cause her cold eyes can burn 

And you yearn and you churn and rebound 



J: 

I think I know what you mean 



Both: 

The tango Maureen 



M: 

Has she ever pouted her lips and called you pookie? (J: never) 

Have you ever doubted a kiss or two? 



J: 

This is Spooky

Did you swoon when she walked in the door? (M: every time, so be cautious) 

Did she moon over other boys? (M: more than moon) 

I'm getting nauseus 



(Start to tango)



M: 

Where did you learn to Tango? 



J: 

With the French ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at 

Mrs. Porters. And you? 



J: 

With Ninnett Himmelfarb, the Rabbi's daughter at the 

Scarsdale Jewish Community Center. 



M: 

It's hard to do this backwards 



J: 

You should try it in heels 



(Start to tango again)



J: 

She cheated 



M: 

She cheated 



J: 

Maureen cheated 



M: 

Fucking cheated 



J: 

I'm defeated, I should give up right now 



M: 

Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might 



J: 

I'd fall for her still anyhow 



Both: 

When you're dancing her dance 

You don't stand a chance 

Her grip on romance makes you fall 



M: 

So you think might as well 



J: 

Dance the tango to hell 



Both: 

At least I'll have tango'd at all 



Both: 

The tango maureen 

Gotta dance till your diva is through 

You pretend to believe her 

Cause in the end you can't leave her 

But the end it will come 

Still you have to play dumb 

Till you're glum, and your bum and turn blue 



M: 

Why do we love when she's mean? 



J: 

And she can be so obscene 



J: 

My Maureen 



Both: 

The tango Maureen.