[Mama]
Hello?
[Osama]
Hello Mama, This is Osama.
I'm in a geisha house in Yokohama.
I swear I don't know nothing 'bout no tennis shoe bomb.
I'm a nervous wreak, W's breathin' down my neck.
[Mama]
Goodness me, mercy sakes.
Listen son, what on Earth are you thinking?
[Osama]
I don't know
[Mama]
Tell me something, have you been drinking?
[Osama]
No! I aint been drinking.
[Mama]
This aint no way to behave you're gonna send me to my
Grave!
[Osama]
Hold it Mama! You know I can't talk long at all,
W just might trace this call. Wait a minute. Uh Oh!
[W]
We will not tire. We will not fail.
However long it takes you know we will prevail.
[Mama]
Mercy Sakes
[Osama]
Mama I don't wanna go. To Guantanamo.
So Mama send me some dough. Another hundred million or
So.
I think it's worse than dead broke. Down in Guantanamo.
[Mama]
Hello?
[Usama]

Hello Mama, This is "Usama"
I'm in a mud hut in the middle of Uganda.
Now here's the thing I changed my name to "Usama"
Yeah, 'cause W's nipping at my heels.
Now I know how Salman Rushdie feels.
[Mama]
Goodness me, mercy sakes.
Listen son I'm not trying to upset you.
[Usama]
I know
[Mama]
But honey if they do catch you.
[Usama]
Oh for goodness sakes bite your tongue!
[Mama]
You know it's every mother's prayer, you have on clean
Underwear.
[Usama]
Hold it Mamma! W just wont leave me alone, I think he
Might of tapped this phone.
Wait a minute. Uh Oh!
[General]
We will not tire, we will not fail.
Do not pass GO just go directly to Jail.
[Mama]
Goodness me!
[Osama]
Mama I don't wanna go. To Guantanamo.
So Mama send me some dough. Another hundred million or
So.
I think it's worse than dead broke. Down in Guantanamo.
{repeat and fade}