Chorus



Well…they call him Dudley Dorite, but that's not his 
real name

The toughest highway cop from California to Maine

He hides back in the bushes with the latest radar

Take your picture, then he'll catch you in his modified 
car

His heart's hard as concrete and his blood is ice cold

He's Dudley Dorite of the highway patrol - Dudley 
Dorite 

Recitation



Yeah…He'll pull up behind you in that fast-modified car 
and walk up to you and hook both thumbs over that black 
hand-tooled leather pistol belt. Look down at you from 
behind them cool-hand Luke, Man with no eyes, 
sunglasses and say..."Clocked you back 'ar At 57 1/2 
miles an hour, yeah I did. Guess you know you're in a 
heap o'trouble don't you boy? Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh" 

Bridge



He rides a big ole Harley, got a Mustang GT

And a bell helicopter hidden in the pine trees

If he catches you for speedin', it's ten years to life

And if you protest he takes your first born child, Your 
house, and your wife 

Recitation



You wanna let me see your license there boy? You do 
have a license, don't you boy? You wanna just take it 
out of that there wallet there for me, boy? Yeah…Well, 
looka here what we have here? 

I was down in the Southland, late for a show

Had the pedal to the metal and a long way to go

Talkin' on the CB, had my fuzz-buster on

There was not a soul in sight so I kept movin' along

Then I looked in my mirror and Lord bless my soul

There was Dudley Dorite of the highway patrol - Dudley 
Dorite 



Recitation



Well, looky what we got here, Mr. Raymone Stevenson, 
Ole Ahab The Arab his own self.

You want an autograph? Huh?

Not exactly, son. My wife Ethel you do 'member Ethel 
don't you, boy? That shameless hussy, yeah, she was 
sayin' to me the other night she says "Bubba", that's 
right, name's Bubba, and I just happen to be the 
lustrous potentate of this here local shrine temple. 
She said "Bubba, why do you s'pose it is that that 
Raymone Steveson treats us so ugly on all his 
phonograph records?" And I said "I don't know", and I 
turned to my brother Clyde and his wife, sister Bertha, 
and they said they didn't know neither (laugh). 'Bout 
that time, my nephew Harv Newland come in and I sez, 
"Harv, have you heard that Raymone Stevenson's latest 
meanness on the phonograph record?" He looked up at me 
and said, "Yeah, I did, and Uncle Bubba how do you 
s'pose it is that Raymone Steveson knew I had a steeple 
on my barber shop?" Well, I guess you just better come 
along with me, boy. Ole deputy Coy's got a bone or two 
he'd like to pick with you his own self. (laugh) Guess 
ever-thing ain't so dadburned beautiful right now, is 
it, huh? (laugh) 

Chorus



Well they call him Dudley Dorite, but that's not his 
real name

The toughest highway cop from California to Maine

He hides back in the bushes with the latest radar

He'll take your picture, then he'll catch you in his 
modified car

His heart's hard as concrete and his blood is ice cold

He's Dudley Dorite of the highway patrol - Dudley 
Dorite