WHERE THE CACTI IS SCARCE AND THIN
THERE'S A PLACE WITHOUT MUCH TASTE
THEY CALL RAMADA INN
NOW RAMADA, IT IS A SPANISH NAME
THEY BROUGHT IT WITH THEM WHEN THEY CAME
AND THOUGH THE SPANISH HAVE GONE AWAY
RAMADA INN IS HERE TO STAY

Chorus
THEY'RE LIKE A RASH UPON THE NATION
WHERE THE WEARY TRAVELER GETS TRAPPED ON VACATION
NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE GOING OR WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN
YOU WON'T ESCAPE RAMADA INN

LA LA LA WHAT A RIP-OFF
TAKE A TIP OFF ME
LA LA LA...

Bridge
MEDIOCRE
IT'S IN THERE SOMEWHERE BETWEEN GOOD AND BAD
AND ONCE YOU LEAVE
YOU WON'T QUITE BELIEVE
WHAT AN AVERAGE TIME YOU'VE HAD

Chorus 1
THEY'RE LIKE A RASH UPON THE NATION
WHERE THE WEARY TRAVELER GETS TRAPPED ON VACATION
"HECK, YEAH, HI THERE, THIS IS ROBERT BOB
HERE AT THE RAMADA INN LOUNGE
LISTEN, PUSSYCATS, I WANT YOU TO DRINK UP AND STICK AROUND
BECAUSE I'M GOING TO BE PLAYING ALL YOUR A.M. FAVE RAVES
I KNOW YOU LIKE TO DISCO DOWN TO
HEY, COME ON "BANG, BANG", I GOT A LINE ON YOU, YOU PARTY ANIMALS
HEY, A LITTLE LATER ON, TRY THAT SALAD BAR, IT'S SIMPLY EXQUISITE, O.K.
HEY, I'VE GOT TWENTY-FIVE BIG, BEAUTIFUL SHOWS FOR YOU, DON'T YOU KNOW
I'M GOING TO BE HERE FROM, OH, FOUR O'CLOCK THIS AFTERNOON UNTIL I'M A MUCH OLDER INDIVIDUAL."

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE GOING OR WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN
WHERE YOU ARE GOING OR WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN
CHA, CHA, CHA, YOU WON'T ESCAPE  RAMADA INN

LA LA LA IT'S REALLY STINKO
THAT'S WHAT I THINKO
LA LA LA

NORTH OF THE BORDER
THE BORDER, THE BORDER
NORTH OF THE BORDER
THE BORDER, THE BORDER
OY