Picture an elderly lady peeking through her blinds
You wave her a friendly hello
While she glares with judging eyes
Her glasses held by chails on pointy 1960's frames
They help her see your faults
As she's squinting with disdain

A retired English teacher with an overwhelming fragrance
Still alive too stubborn to die
And death don't have the patience
She has more cats than children by an order of magnitude
And when ever she loses at bingo
She takes it out on you

Calls the cops on her rotary phone
Every time you try to mow the lawn

Close your blinds lock your doors
I mind my business now you mind yours
Keep to yourself and stay off my grass
Now get off my porch and get off my ass

Get off my ass go back inside
Stay in your home leave me alone

Imagine a jerk in his 40's
In front of the broke down house that he rents
Not all that bright chugging Natural Light
Flicking ciggarette butts over your fence
Screaming all day at his beat up truck
That he always fails to repair
More stains on his shirt than teeth in his mouth
And he doesn't seem to care

A former high school quarterback
With delusions of long past glory
Blasts 80's crap from his Pontiac
As he tells you his whole life story
He parks and blocks my driveway then
Dumps his cup of tobacco spit
Setting fireworks of after midnight?
I'm about to lose my SHHH-... temper.

Mows his lawn at 2 a.m.
He likes me but I hate him
Deadbeat dad he doesn't pay child support
Looks like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Close your blinds lock your doors
I mind my business now you mind yours
Keep to yourself and stay off my grass
Now get off my porch and get off my ass

We all hate the HOA
All the homes they look the same
The mortage states the house belongs to me
You need to chill the fuck out and get off my property

Some are so friendly but some of them are enemies
Makes me neurotic and keeps me on guard
Battling those neighbors with tolerant diplomacy
Tempts me to pour bleach on their yard

I pour bleach on your yard
I spelled "BITCH" on your lawn
That's right FUCK your grass
Loathe thy neighbor