I got back in town a day before I'd planned to

I smiled and said I'll sure surprise my wife

I don't think I'll phone I'll just head on home

For I didn't know the cold hard facts of life

I passed a little winestore on the corner I pictured big champagne by candle light

I stopped the car right then got out and hurried in

My mind not on the cold hard facts of life

A stranger stood there laughing by the counter

He said I'll take two bottles of your best

Her husband's out of town and there's a party

He winkled as if to say you know the rest

I left the store two steps behind the stranger

From there to my house his car stayed in sight

But it wasn't till he turned into my drive that I learned

I was witnessing the cold hard facts of life

I drove around the block till I was dizzy each time the noise came louder from within

And then I saw our bottle there beside me

And I drank a fifth of courage and walked in

Lord you should've seen their frantic faces

They screamed and cried please put away that knife

I guess I'll go to hell or I'll rot here in the cell

But who taught who the cold hard facts of life

Who taught who the cold hard facts of life