It's these substandard motels on the (lalalalala) corner of 4th and Fremont Street
Appealing only because they are just that unappealing
Any practiced Catholic would cross themselves upon entering
The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde
And the habit of decomposing right before your very lalalala eyes.
(Along with the people inside)

What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

Tonight tenants range from: a lawyer and a virgin
Accessorizing with a rosary tucked inside her lingerie
(She's getting a job at the firm come Monday)
The Mrs. will stay with the cheating attorney
Moonlighting aside, she really needs his money
Oh what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

Yeah (Yeah)

And not to mention the constable and his proposition for that "virgin"
Yes, the one the lawyer met with on "strictly business"
As he said to the Mrs. Well only hours before
After he had left, as she was fixing her face in a compact
There was a terrible crash (There was a terrible) CRASH!
Between her and the badge
She spilled her purse and her bag, and held a "purse" of a different kind
(Along with the people inside)

What a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

There are no...
Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses,
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses,
Shade of the sheets and before all the stains,
And a few more of your least favorite things.

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses,
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses,
Shade of the sheets and before all the stains,
And a few more of your least favorite things.

Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy
Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy

Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses,
It's sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses,
Shade of the sheets and before all the stains,
And a few more of your least favorite things.

Raindrops on roses and the girls in the white dresses,
And the sleeping with the roaches and the taking best guesses,
Shade of the sheets and before all the stains,
And a few more of your least favorite things.