He carries her picture in his pocket
'Twas taken the day he went to sea
He carries her picture in his locket
Though she is as ugly as can be!

Oh what a face! (Oh what a face!)
It's a disgrace  (It's a disgrace)
To be showing it in any public place!

One morning he took her to a pig farm
He told her to wait down by the rail
But when he returned he couldn't find her
The farmer had put her up for sale!

Oh what a face! (Oh what a face!)
It's a disgrace  (It's a disgrace)
To be showing it in any public place!

She always liked to watch the horses
When they were racing at the track
Until the day she wandered near the stable
And the jockey put a saddle on her back!

Oh what a kisser! (Oh what a race!)
It's a disgrace  (It's a disgrace)
To be showing it in any public place!

Her father arranged for her to marry
Some fella who had never seen the bride
But when she raised the veil to let him kiss her
He screamed and then committed suicide!

Oh what a face! (Oy veh is mere!)
Yes what a face!  (What a disgrace!)
To be showing it in any public place!

He carried her picture in his pocket
He kept it 'til his ship went down at sea
'Twas then that he took the little locket
And packed it in the box and set it free!

And now that picture in the locket
Is floating around from sea to sea
And if by chance you ever find it
Don't open it up or you will see;

That awful face! (Oh what a face!)
It's a disgrace  (It's a disgrace)
To be showing it in any public place!