Down at the switchboard of the old Tell N' Tale

They got some fascinating stories to tell

Connie and Val nice old gals

Minding the back of the store for 30 years or more



Hey Val do you remember that girl back in '72?

She looked like Cher sure took some getting used to

She was working here all summer and going to college

Yeah they musta been teaching her

some funny kinda knowledge

She was a nice enough girl 

took a trip around the world

I don't remember her name though

Hey Val do you know?



Yeah, well honey the switchboard 

Beats going to double features

You get to talking to some interesting creatures

Yeah Connie and Val coupla nice old gals

They like to take a little sherry

With the obituary



Hey Val do you remember that girl

who's ex-husband was a stalker?

That was the summer we had that punk rocker 

Oh boy, what a crazy summer that was

Yes she wore a dog collar and some pink and blue fuzz

They were nice enough though 

I wonder where did they go

And if that girl is still singing

Hey Val, that line is ringing



Down at the switchboard of the old Tell N'Tale

They got some fascinating stories to tell

Don't ever let 'em tell ya that their job is hell

Cause pretty soon it'll all be automated well

You remember that girl used to make us all lunch

Used to make us all laugh and called us honeybunch

Then she moved the whole family way back to Idaho

Well I surely did hate to see that girl go



Connie and Val nice old gals

They've seen a few wars but they're still pals

And they had a few babies

Smoked a million cigarettes

They don't need no one to help em

when they're placing a bet

Oh Connie and Val

Connie and Val

30 long years same locale

oh Connie and Val

Oh yes Connie and Val

Nice old gals that Connie and Val