Tony's got a botfly in his forehead 

Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe 

Dave's got leeches, 

Mike's got flu, 

Everybody's got a parasite, 

I've got you. 

First date: we thought it was great 

We drank and we ate. 

We stayed up real late. 

Next week we hit our peak 

Making the bedsprings creak. 

And now, one month later. 

Tony's got a botfly in his forehead 

Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe 

Dave's got leeches, 

Mike's got flu, 

Everybody's got a parasite, 

I've got you. 

I guess that's what I get 

For being a jerk instead of cooling my jets 

You were a wolf in a sheepskin 

Playing for keeps and I lost 

And now, twenty years later 

Tony's got a botfly in his forehead 

Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe 

Dave's got leeches, 

Mike's got flu, 

Everybody's got a parasite, 

I've got you. 

I've got you! 

I've got you! 

Somebody tell me what to do 

Should I try a bit of vinegar? 

Has someone got an antidote? 

Band-aids, cyanide, hydrogen peroxide, 

Rum and coke if nothing else will do 

Everybody's got a parasite, 

I've got you. 

Tony's got a botfly in his forehead 

Jenny's got a guinea worm in her shoe 

Dave's got leeches, 

Mike's got flu, 

Everybody's got a parasite, 

I've got you.