Deedle Dee, three tots are we. 
And we're as clever as can be. 
We live with Grandma Ida and our dear old Grandpa Ned 
And little Baby Mike (the brat) 
And don't forget the siamese cat 
And in the attic from Detroit is big, fat Uncle Fred 

Oh Grandpa wishes he were rich, 
and Grandma just complains (the bitch) 
And Uncle Fred gets drunk while Mike just cries all night and day 
The cat thinks that he owns the place 
He bites and scratches on the face 
It'd be so nice if they just went away, away 
Ooh daddle, daddle daddle daddle daddle daddle day 

(Chorus) 
The cat is dead, the cat is dead 
I went to pat him on the head 
He didn't purr, he didn't meow he didn't blink or snip. 
He seemed to have a funny smile that made me laugh 
But all the while, the tail that used o flip and flap 
Got awful cold and stiff. 
We chopped him into tiny bits, 
And seasoned him with apple bits 
and with some dust, we made a crust and put him in a pie. 
Into the oven he did sit, until the crust was nice and crisp 
I'll love that little kitty till I die. 
Dee die, dee di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di. 

The cat is dead, the cat is dead. 
And Mikey too, and Uncle Fred 
Expiring oh so suddenly while sipping down some tea. 
The tea was hot, the tea was hot 
With stricknine and a little spice to 
Cover up the funny taste of our conspiracy. 
When Grandpa saw what we had done, 
He went straight for his hunting gun 
But we were quick we sole the clip 
The rest is history 
To make sure Grandma wouldn't flea 
We gave her a lobotomy 
And now's she's just as happy as can be 
Dee dee, dee deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle deedle dee 

(Chorus)