Oh.. 
You can tell a dirty story 
In the old conservatory... 

But don't go in the basement! 

You can make a scene 
On the mezanene 

But don't go in the basement! 

You can fill yourself with static 
With the ghosts up in the attic 

But don't go in the basement! 

You can light yourself a torch 
On the old front porch 

But don't go in the basement! 

Oh you may think that it's real cool 
To ride down the bannister like some darn fool 
Oh don't go... DONT GO!! 
Don't go in the basement! 

You can feel quite aloof 
Playing rummy on the roof 

But don't go in the basement! 

Where the cockroaches dance 
You can wallow in romance 

But don't go in the basement! 

You may think that it's deluxe 
To ride the bannister filled with rust 

Oh don't go, don't go! 
Don't go in the basement!!!!