All my neighbors are fast asleep
And I can't find anything to drink
The McKenzies drank all the grain alcohol
So I'm headed down the street to first call
Me and the Bads were staying up late
Kitty and Victor got dropped from the plate
But no one was contented with the Wednesday wassail
So I said it's only four short blocks to first call
Not a walk of shame it's a walk of pride
Peoples goin' to work while we're getting cockeyed
The sun's coming up and the drinks are goin' down
So shut the fuck up and I'll get the next round

6am, we'll start all over again
No one applying the brakes
We'll stop the sweats and the shakes
We're gonna eat pickled egg
We're gonna see Toby Jeg
We're not gonna let sun light have effect on our fun

It smells like bleach, adult diapers and mold
And everyone around me's over 60 years old
But we're gonna share the next hour or two
We all got each other and nothing better to do
Irish coffee, and Irish car bomb
A fat drunk jew starts singing this song
I take a closer look and the fat guy is me
So I buy him a shot, and he buys me back three

6am, we'll start all over again
No one applying the brakes
We'll stop the sweats and the shakes
We're gonna eat pickled egg
We're gonna hang with Dave Gregg
We're not gonna let sun light help decide when we're done

All my neighbors are fast asleep
And I can't find anything to drink
The Loved Ones drank all of my alcohol
So I'm gonna be the very first one at first call.