Hey, how you doin' (Oooh)

Thanks for coming to my studio apartment...

Got some shit to say (That's right)



The times we've had

The times we've missed

The times we've embraced

And the times we've kissed

The times we've loved

And the times we've laughed

Now it's time...

To accept my shaft



Wo-oah!

My shaft



The times we've spent

The times we've shared

The times we've shown each other

Just how much we care

The times we've lived

All the times for reflection

Now you must survive...

My thunderous erection



Wo-oah

It's enough of a shaft...

My shaft



Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!

Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!



Don't leave, don't run! You are the only one! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)

I can be myself around! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)

I've come undone! You are the only one! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)

Who can lift my heart up off the ground! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)



The times behind

And the times foretold

Forgive me if I'm being

Just a bit too bold

But our sweet love

Won't be forsaken

Once you are

Gargling my bacon



Ooh, the times we've seen

And the times ahead

Grab a couple pillows

And get on that bed

You'll want to lay back

And clear your calendar

Once I introduce you to my friend...

Excalibur

(Excalibur, Excalibur)



You take me higher! You set my loins afire! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)

You are the slam pig I desire! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)

Dear god, I'll plow... you all around the house! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)

'Cause you lift my heart up off the ground! (Oooo-ooooo-oo-oooh!)



Lift my heart up off the ground

But... try find a way to incorporate the shaft while you're doing so.

Actually, you know what? Really concentrate on the shaft.

More-so than the, uh... than the heart.

The shaft should... definitely be your main focus.

Can't stress that enough.