I remember quite well
The first time I took you home
We were so young
I didn't think much of you
Sure you were cute and full of tricks
And a whole lot brighter than a guinea pig
But I didn't think much of you back then
And I think you loved me first
Cause it sure took me a while
To figure out
That you were kinda special
But now you're old and full of ticks
And you yell at everybody just for kicks
And I wish that you would just shut up
Why do you scream at me
Why do you scream
I don't know why you have to do that
Cause things don't seem
All that bad to me
Oh I'm beggin' you please
Baby please don't scream
Do you remember that old cat
Who beat you up so bad
You almost didn't make it
I almost couldn't take it
But now you're mean and paranoid
There's not a piece of this house that you haven't 
destroyed
And I wish that you would just shut up.
You know I've loved a lot of men
And moved far away from them
And I hate to say it
But you're my oldest friend
And I'm glad you're around
Cause you still know how to make my favorite sound
But then I wish that you would just shut up.