I'm Jon Boy Jon
I'm simple like a possum
I'm John Boy John
My girlfriend thinks I'm awesome

We met at our family reunion
I saw her there by Grandma Claire
I loved her in an instant

And I know I'm plumb out of my head
We are first cousins and the gene pool ain't too deep
And I know our kids'll be inbreed
But I'm in love, and I'm losing sleep

I remember the first time I met 'Lizbeth Daisy Blossom.
My heart went skitter-patter!
And I knew she was the only one for me.
And if I could, I would marry her in a big ol' 
county line.

But I know it's wrong
And I don't wanna have none of those freakish, webbed-
toe blue smurf babies
But, I just can't help it...I just...Well, I...I 
just...

I love her
But since our moms are sisters
We won't wed
I'll never be her Mister

It's not fair
Our union can't be legal
We'll never date or consummate
'Cause lovin her is wrong...ish

I love her
She loves me

But we're cousins

I'm pathetic Jon Boy Jon